I Swear I’m Being Haunted by the Ghost of Steve Jobs

BOOK UPDATE:  The Shohei-Ryu Karate iBook is impatiently waiting on Apple to make their final approval before publication.  This is after weeks of delays.  I gotta ask, did I say or do something to cheese off the Man Upstairs?  Not God.  I mean Steve Jobs.  I don’t know: pray download an app for me?.  I did just preorder the new iPad . . . maybe it will prove a worthy offering?

Prayer is obsolete, puny mortal! Though you may download my recorded blessings for $.99 from the iTunes Store . . .

Anyway, here’s a little preview of the project I’ve been working on during the layover.  It’s called Proof Rocks! Guide to Writing: Everything You Need to Know About Grammar & Style and How To Promptly Forget It.

I know what you’re thinking: “Hold the iPhone!  Do we really need another writing guide?  I’ve been rocking Strunk and White since college!”  But before you brush me off, take a little sneak peak.  Here are the first two sections and their tentative chapter titles.

Part One – Comma Crap

  • Comma Rule #1: Thou Shall Not Write Run-On Sentences
  • Comma Rule #B: The Theory of Essentiality
  • Comma Rule #3: Kids’ Stuff?
  • Hyper-Advanced Comma Usage for the Aspiring Ninja Master

 Part Two – The Punctuation Proclamation

  • How to Use Semicolons to Prove You Went to College
  • Colon Blow: Mastering the Messiest Form of Punctuation
  • Why Hyphens Frighten
  • How to Kick Some Major Dash
  • Apostrophes Make Samuel L. Jackson Angry

See what I mean?  No one as cool as me has EVER written a book on writing!  This one’s gonna be epic!  Coming soon to a Proof Rocks! store near you–maybe even for Kindle iBooks, too.  Jobs willing.

About Bill Antonitis

Mild-mannered English teacher by day, black belt marketing specialist by night! In addition to working in public schools and teaching martial arts, I also help businesses, non-profits, and other organizations tell authentic stories that help them interact with their clients. Traditional marketing is lame; we want to help your organization create and improve meaningful relationships with the people that matter most.
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